Cock n' bull

As I am writing this blog I am now entering the last phase (i.e 3 months) of my eight month adventure. I can remember only too well my arrival here in May and the dread and fear I felt in knowing that I was committed until December but my, how time flies when your having fun!

Since my last update, Naomi the other volunteer, has sadly returned to the UK to resume the final year of her degree. She was affectionately known to me as "Vomy White" after the famous bus journey where she received a blessing of  different kind - vomit on the tootsies! She was here for three months and instead of boozing it up over the summer, sensibly invested her time and energy  into a worthwhile and rewarding cause. "Vomy White is a focused, ambitious and thoroughly nice girl who will no doubt go on to achieve great things - good luck!" says Lucy Ma'am!

We are now entering the second week of school, after enjoying a 10 day vacation to celebrate a significant Hindu festival, known as Onam. I was lucky enough to be invited to one of the student's homes (Ameena Aboo) where I stayed for the first half of the holiday. Despite the fact that I was staying with a Muslim family, I was not disadvantaged in anyway as the same traditions were followed as that of a Hindu family, purely for my benefit. The festival amongst other things marks the end of the monsoon season and certain rituals are always adhered too. One of those rituals is to make a carpet out of fresh flowers (Pookalam) which is then laid out at the front of the house. The colours and intricate detail is quite incredible on some that I have seen, but the Pookalam created at Ameena's home was simple but very pretty. The other main tradition is 'Sadhya', meaning feast, which is a delicious selection of different foods  served on a banana leaf . There was to be no disappointment as the feast itself was served on a fresh banana leaf with an amazing array of curries, chutneys, pickles, fruit, rice and fish. Whilst my photo does not do it justice, I can assure you that it was extremely tasty and it goes without saying that Ameena's mother is an amazing cook. 

During the days that followed I was treated like a guest of honour everywhere I went. Out of a village of approximately 600 residents, 250 of them were Ameena's relatives in some capacity or another. The jungle drums were in overdrive as no sooner had we visited one family member, there was a call on the mobile phone to meet another. For some people, I was the first foreigner they had cast their eyes on and I gather I am the first English person to visit their village. How intrigued they were?! I am not exaggerating when I say that within 2 days, I had visited the homes of 15 relatives and this was not even scratching the surface. At every house I visited I was greeted with horlicks (a great favourite amongst this set of  Indians!) a wide selection of biscuits, fruit and curried pastries. The problem thereafter was politely declining the 6th offer of the favourite bedtime drink and a curried egg pastry! Indians being the hospitable and kind people they are don't do "NO" so only after announcing how seriously nauseous I felt on one particular afternoon was I given the much reduced token of orange juice and two bananas!   

On my first day I was taken on a family outing to visit a dam and a national park. Every effort was made to make me feel welcome and the family were keen to show me parts of their beautiful Kerala; quite rightly too. It's hard to be able to convey to those who have never experienced the Indian culture but quite simply the kindness, sincerity and eagerness to please are just some of the qualities that this mammoth size family displayed from the moment I arrived to the second I left. On one occasion, there was great excitement as I was paraded around a party for the marriage celebration of a young couple. Rather embarrassingly, I attracted more attention then those who were entirely deserving of the limelight. The function was held in a 'Madrassa' - a venue where the young Muslim community go in order to learn about the religion. There were approximately 250 - 300 people in attendance and in accordance with their religion, men are required to eat first then followed by the women and children. There is to be no mingling of both men and women and the meal time which is the main focus of the party is like a canteen style affair. There are no name places, cutlery or table favourites! There definitely ain't no flair or finesse 'ere! It  is simply a case of parking your arse where there is space and plates are thrust in front of you. From there, beef biriyani is shovelled on to your plate, along with pickle, salad and fried chicken - this diet does wonders for your cholesterol. If I'm lucky enough to get hitched, perhaps my old man will insist on a similar style although I know that won't happen as it's not a proper shindig without the red vino!!!

I left Ameena's home, incredible family and first class hospitality with a heavy heart and returned to normality, the only positive being that there was no repeated offers of good old Horlicks!

Being English enables me to moan about the weather at least once during my time here and now is the appropriate occasion. I have endured 35+ degree heat, relentless torrential rainstorms over a prolonged period of time but I am struggling to cope with a daily average of 95% humidity. The humidity is combined with a temperature of around 30 degrees and this makes for very uncomfortable conditions at times.  It causes the students great amusement when I reach the top floor classrooms to commence teaching only to keep having to stem the flow of sweat pouring down the side of my face with one of my many handkerchiefs. Such is my discomfort that students and fellow colleagues often ask if I'm feeling ok - I can only imagine that I am looking like someone suffering in the early stages of a heart attack.  I have to concede that on this occasion it is not Indian madness but instead 'English madness'! 

Talking about Indian madness, of which there is plenty, there are two recent incidents where this was suitably demonstrated. The first in time was the car journey where we were following a jeep, which in itself is nothing extraordinary. What I then saw was highly amusing as an old man was laid across the back with his broken ankle poking out of the back, meanwhile being supported by a man who was spread eagled over the back door of the jeep. Clearly he was not concerned that an emergency stop, which in this country is common practice, would irreversibly damage his Crown Jewels. On closer inspection, I could see an additional feature of the old man's plaster cast which bizarrely looked like an antenna similar to those worn by the teletubbies,  sticking out of his heel. I wonder if the concerned medic was qualified when creating such a decorative accessory!  I very much hope that I don't endure the same fate!

The other occasion was during a walk after school, when my path crossed with a young man who had been heading in the opposite direction to me. It was not the brightly coloured t-shirt that caught my attention but the printed words emblazoned across his chest that were a little surprising to say the least. It read " Everyone loves a bit of cock especially me". My immediate reaction was one of shock because apart from anything else, it is a well known fact that India does not embrace the concept of homosexuality. Yet it seemed to me that by wearing such a T-shirt, he was making a statement in accordance with his  particular belief and I would like to think that most English people in that situation would have made the same assumption as I did.That said, I turned around to double check that my eyes hadn't deceived me and saw the back of his t-shirt which read "Cock fireworks". Only India could use such a fantastically distasteful word for something as innocent as fireworks. Genius! The rest of my walk wasn't nearly so eventful or as remotely amusing. To prove that I am not taking drugs or making up such madness, I have since located an advertisement for this reputable and genuine company. I have no further submissions to make on this matter!

So from fireworks to fish, last weekend I was taken to the local fish market which was an experience I am unlikely to ever forget. An explosive smell of rotting fish and human flesh in 95% humidity and 30 degree heat was an assault on my senses similar to chemical warfare. I had to negotiate my way around the streams of fish blood and carcasses whilst minding the crows who were enjoying a feast of massive proportions. Despite those minor difficulties, it was a very interesting experience. There were many boats moored up with overjoyed fishermen stood nearby waiting to unload their successful day's earnings. I was a little surprised to see one of the fishermen ankle deep in fish scooping and passing basket loads on to his friend. It's fair to say there are no health and safety laws in existence let alone being observed and so I entirely accept that when fish is presented to me in whatever form, it may well contain the odd soggy toenail or chunk of dead skin from one of the many fishermen engaging in similar practices. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger and it won't surprise you reading this that my constitution is considerably more robust then 6 months ago!

Life here in India continues to be varied and at times challenging but on the whole a great experience. I am relishing every opportunity thrown at me and doing and seeing as much as I can with the time I have left. One of those moments came a couple of days ago when I was asked by the Principal to vet a possible marriage candidate for his 19 year old daughter. The custom here is for parents to 'arrange their son or daughter's marriage' regardless of religion or caste. What does however vary is the age in which such marriage takes place and this is largely influenced by the religious preference. Remembering that Ameena is from a Muslim family, one of her great aunt's was sadly widowed at the age of 35. Instead of trying to remarry herself, she decided to  marry off her two daughters at the age of 10 and 15 respectively. This was the only way in which she could ensure both daughters would be financially secure and she now enjoys the company of grandchildren and great grandchildren at the age of 75. Sadly she has never remarried and still works daily on her farm to support herself, a very stoic and humble lady.  This situation, I am told is less common these days however with devout Muslim families in particular, it is not unheard of for girls to be married at 17. My student's brother recently married a girl of 17 despite being 29. She is studying for the equivalent of A-levels here and once her studies are complete in March 2014, she will be resigned to the life of a housewife and a baby making machine.  

The Principal had asked me to assess the 'marriage proposal's' level of English and also to check whether the university and degree he claims to have attended and successfully completed was bona fide! Safe to say that he survived my interrogation and I gather he has succeeded on reaching the next stage of the process. This involves him meeting the Principal and his wife along with his parents and only if that proves successful does the marriage become a serious consideration for both families. The children are not allowed to meet without the presence of their parents and as was the case for the Principal's first daughter who is 21 and now 6 months pregnant, she married her now husband after just two meetings. Only now can I understand the many looks of disappointment and reactions of disbelief when I confirmed I was not yet married at 31. I have been told on more than one occasion that I am unlikely to get married at my age and am now past my sell by date for such an occasion or indeed for having children. I won't miss those particular views after my departure and what's more, one day I'll return to this beautiful country and visit my students and new found friends with my husband, happily married.  

For now Dad, you can chill out and enjoy spending my inheritance but please leave a few quid for the wedding!!!!

Despite the chaos and pandemonium here in Kerala, I continue to flourish in a environment in which there is an abundance of happiness and kindness. I will happily admit that being the simpleton that I am, that's all I need in life - oh and of course a husband too, according to the Indian population!!!!!

As always, I send my love to all family and friends

Luce (Ci Ci)

xx

The pink whale

The latest update is focused around my schooling life and my continued attempt to adapt to my new found career - well all be it on a temporary basis!!! I'm sure the UK education system would not allow Miss Linington the opportunity to educate the students in the UK. Dear old India is that desperate!!!

There have been a flurry of events within the school diary which has  kept me out of mischief or better still has enabled me to create it! 

First in time, was the celebration of Independence Day on the August 15th which was incredible to be a part of. The day started with great anticipation and excitement but this was partly down to the fact that Naomi and I had subjected ourselves to the humiliation of wearing a saree. Frankly speaking I looked like a pink whale walking around the school but the students and fellow teachers very much approved and appreciated the gesture. I had no idea how hot a saree can be and at times it was a little uncomfortable in the soaring heat but nothing could compare to the agony of trying to spend a penny dressed in such garb, especially in their customary squat bogs! So much to consider, like the metres of material (or so it felt) to gather up without accidentally dunking it in the "hole", whilst trying to maintain my balance in a squat position that was reminiscent of a hunched old drunk about to topple over and of course trying to aiming for the jackpot. Women are considered to be the best at multitasking - this is most certainly a worthy example. 

An assembly was held at the front of the school where all students lined up ceremoniously to hear the words of wisdom from the patriotic Principal and thereafter to stand to "attention" to salute the Indian flag. India does "pomp" well but not in my view as spectacular as us Brits. The sun was as intense as the atmosphere and unfortunately it was too much for 3 or 4 students who simply keeled over in the heat. One student unintentionally took refuge on the pink whale as I was thrust forward by their body weight but fortunately I regained balance before looking like a complete tit. 

Due to the sun we all gravitated to the auditorium which is no more than a dust pit furnace! There I was invited to say a few words to mark an occasion fraught with controversy over the once claimed "British India". For a speech that could have gone disastrously wrong, given the amount of blunders I make here on a regular basis, it passed without incident and I am still here to tell the tale. The students and teachers alike enjoyed particular reference to my Grandpa's time here in India, having served with the British Army between 1943 - 1945 and during which time completed various projects. Given that Independence Day was some 6 days after Grandpa's 95th birthday, his fame reached South India and a loud cheer was given from approximately 700 people at Apex Public School.

Two days later marked the first "parent and teacher interaction" session of the academic year. I was supported by two other members of staff who were able to act as a translator for myself and parents, however it wasn't the most comfortable of experiences during my time here. On a daily basis it is a near on impossible task trying to remember the names of approximately 60 students (that is just one year group!) but when we are talking about Ajas, Neha, Nihala, Afnaz, Nijam as opposed to Stephen, Katie, Elizabeth, Tom, I cannot remember for toffee. This was fairly evident when I was asked to comment on the progress of one student and was banging on about how obedient he was, showed great potential and was a fast learner only to be met with utter bewilderment when the mother confirmed she only had the one daughter! Disaster had struck but there was at least a wry smile from the parent and once she was satisfied I was talking about her child, there were several wobbles of the head so I think she may have forgiven me in the end!

Since my last blog entry, I have once again been on my travels around this vast country. The same kind parent who took me to Manjeri Magistrates Court indulged both Naomi and I on a two day trip to Mysore. Amazingly we drove nine hours and only reached the neighbouring state of Karnataka and yet, nine hours from Portsmouth would see you comfortably near the top of the British Isles! Madness I say! The poor condition of the roads and standards of driving undoubtedly prolongs the agony of travelling on the road particularly when there were 2 small cars (the size of a ford fiesta!) carrying 11 passengers during our brief visit! The potholes are not so much potholes but trenches and cars almost appear to tip over with the difference in road levels. It is no wonder that two weeks prior to our trip, a young Indian girl threw up all over Naomi's feet on a crazy bus journey, where we had no less than seven close encounters with near death.  Of course, being just as fortunate as Naomi, I received the splash back effect all up my trousers which looked remarkably like our school lunch - a yellowy vegetable curry accompanied with rice! Delicious! 

Moving swiftly on to more pleasant topics, Mysore was absolutely fantastic. The city oozes history and in particular hosts the Palace which is quite simply stunning. Taking 101 years to build, it is an incredible work of art and this is just one of the many amazing things about India. We were able to visit a beautiful Hindu Temple surrounded in peace and tranquility, only to be rudely interrupted by monkeys who sat outside waiting for poor unsuspecting visitors! One of our group members was approached by a monkey who stole both bottles of 7up and fanta. There was no mistaking the perpetrator as the said monkey was boasting a rather dashing orange moustache similar to the look of too much red wine!!!! 

Indian hospitality was once again extended to Naomi and I after we were invited to another school for a "function". This was through a friend of a friend of a friend which is most definitely typically Indian! Word has got round that there are two English teachers in the area and we have had no end of offers to give talks and seminars to neighbouring schools and colleges! This school is in my view superior to Apex in that the facilities are more extensive, for example there are indoor sports halls, air conditioned classrooms, overhead projectors and a lick of paint has been applied everywhere. Unfortunately Apex cannot boast such comfortable surroundings! Certainly no magnolia has seen the light of day here, blackboards are order of the day and some newer classrooms have not yet been given the privilege of a fan! The fees at the visiting day school are approximately 45,000 rupees per year which is approximately £450, contrast that to Apex where fees are pitched at around 18,000 rupees - around £180! 

We were treated like royalty being collected from the house, taken for a delicious lunch and welcomed personally by the Principal and his vice. As we arrived in the auditorium where the whole school of approximately 500  students had congregated, we were met with warmth but the inevitable staring! Immediately we were presented with a small posy of flowers from a couple of very young students who had to be almost pushed on to the stage. (My experience so far has been that Indian people will either go to great lengths to meet you and in some cases invade your personal space or alternatively stare at you with such disgust that the Pompey stare seems entirely meaningless now.)

We were then invited to give a brief introduction on our background and thereafter a question and answer session began. It was quite a strange feeling knowing that there were roughly 500 children sitting there genuinely interested about our English lives and yet I felt like a celebrity being asked  

"what's my favourite food" or a more challenging question posed was "why did I choose to become a criminal lawyer?" 

A short while later, a prize giving ceremony took place for those students who had recently participated in a drama and arts festival. My highlight of the day was undoubtedly being asked to hand out those trophies. This to me was a great honour. At the end of the prize giving ceremony, to our great surprise, we were each presented with a painting by the arts co-ordinator himself and a small trophy also. Once again a great deal of effort and thought had gone into making it a very special day. For only about the fifth time in my life I was absolutely speechless! It was an experience that I will remember with great fondness, given the kindness shown by such a caring school and most definitely reminded me of my Ditcham Park days. 

I have now been away for 4 months and am halfway through my "Indian madness" sabbatical. It really is daily madness and it has become a running joke with students, colleagues and the family that everything is Indian madness. They are quick to tell me its Lucy madness but I strongly refute that suggestion. One thing I would say is that I am beginning to lose the ability to identify what is normality and what is simply India. That said, earlier this week when out for a walk, I actually became paralysed with fear and it wasn't because I had just seen a spider, but far worse. As I walked on the roadside, I was aware of an oncoming vehicle which could quite possibly have aroused suspicions of kerb crawling, however, to my horror, the driver was an 8 year old student of the school. Of course I was not worried because there was a responsible father supervising and there were only 5 young children in the back without a seat belt so no need to be alarmed!!!!!!!!! So only 7 months until Bella will be on the roads then!

Although it was shocking to see, it didn't take long for me to erupt into a fit of the Linington giggles - as the Indians say "What to do?"

This week continued on in the same vain with the celebration of "Teachers Day" on Thursday 5th September. I was given a very sweet card from a deluded student who thanked me for setting him on the right path in life - as far 

as I was aware I was only teaching him English twice a week? Students brought in sweets, chocolates and cakes which were handed round to us all.  The school "treated" all teachers to beef biriyani in the delightful surroundings of a cat infested (literally) canteen. It was fun to be able to share a meal with my friends (not considered to be my colleagues) as they mostly bring their own food to school, quite sensibly. The beef is actually buffalo but isn't fit for human consumption. The chunks of a fatty, tasteless meat are given to us several times a week. I am sad to say that I am living an almost vegetarian existence because I cannot simply stomach meat that is more appropriately found in a can of Whiskers! How I yearn a rare beef sandwich with lashings of horseradish on granary bread! 

The afternoon was highly amusing as students put on programmes for all teachers. These were, in effect, party games for 7 year olds! There was musical chairs, running races and popping balloons but to name a few! I gather my face was a picture when events unfolded and women of 40 plus were running around a circle of chairs, fighting furiously for victory! 

Do you understand now why I continue to describe the events of my daily life as Indian madness?! I'm sure that some reading these blogs think I have the most vivid imagination but I can assure you these incidents really do happen although fortunately no one was harmed in the making!

My final update for you is the hairdressing debacle which hit an all time low last weekend! As the roots and general state of my hair began to look like those delightful specimens off the Jeremy Kyle show, I thought positive action must be taken. Taking life into my own hands I visited another salon which looked pretty respectable. After a brief consultation I was advised that there was only one shade of blonde that would be suitable against my existing colour! So after using a modern technique of applying foils I was somewhat encouraged. An hour later I had turned into Garfield the cat with chunks, not streaks as previously discussed, of bright orange rampaging through my hair. 

I completely spat the dummy and immediately another solution was then reapplied to the worse affected areas! This then generated yet another colour of brown so currently I have three delightful colours flowing through my hair - custard yellow (fortunately the gingerness has subsided!) my natural brown and a sort of turd colour brown. I left in absolute disgust and fearful of the school's reaction, given that any change no matter how big or small is commented on "ma'am is wearing new earrings today?", dress, shoes etc. To my complete surprise the reaction has been entirely positive - I still fail to see how that can be the case but madness prevails and I will happily settle for that any day of the week!   (Photos have been prohibited at this time!)

How Jemma has her work cut out for her on January 3rd! (excuse the pun!)

So as always a roller coaster but I continue to be happy and healthy! Everyone should experience this weird, wacky and wonderful country at some stage in their lives!

Sending you all lots of love and hope you are well wherever this finds you

Luce (Ci Ci) xx

  

  

Happy holidays!

I have just returned from a six day "vacation" which was given to mark the end of the Muslim holy month of Ramzan.  Although six days were reserved for this particular holiday (starting on 6th August), it was unknown at the beginning of the week when Ramzan would officially end. The appearance of the moon (as per the Arabic calendar) on the evening of Thursday 8th August determined the end of Ramzan and symbolised the start of EID. This festival is celebrated by Muslims around the world and here in India it is no different. The custom is for everyone to wear new dresses, visit friends and family and enjoy fruits, meats and sweet delicacies. 

Given that the school management is predominantly Muslim orientated, this was a significant "vacation".  It will come as no surprise to you that the highest percentage (perhaps as much as 80%) of students are Muslims with Hindus and Christians making up the balance. Interestingly enough, the majority of staff members are Hindus with some Muslims and only two Christian teachers that I know of. 

 It was this week that I decided to embark on a tour of North India and on 6th August I flew to India's capital city, Delhi. My holiday very nearly didn't "take off" quite literally due to my own stupidity! As I sat patiently in the departure lounge having experienced a very easy check in process, I decided to enjoy some tunes on the old iPod. The problem was as I was having my own little disco, I had switched off from all public announcements. What I will say is that I did check the screens repeatedly and there was no mention of boarding but I keep forgetting this is India and no one method can be relied upon. The fortunate part of the story was that being the only "white monkey" in the departure lounge made it easy for the airline representative to identify me. He was  understandably displeased with me but in an attempt to make amends, I tried the Indian approach of smiling (a lot) and wobbling the head. This only resulted in me almost cricking my neck so I cut my losses and briskly walked away! C'est la vie!

Since my arrival in India there has been erratic and for the most part very poor displays of driving, incessant hooting and an frenetic energy that at times has been all too consuming. That is Kerala. North India is a whole new ball game. 

In Delhi there was a distinct difference in the levels of poverty where it was quite common to find families and individuals "living" in a bus stop, on street corners, under motorways or better still within the central reservations of main roads. Despite being briefed about this by various people who have sampled India, you cannot simply comprehend it until you see it for yourself. However the most shocking experience that will stay with me for many years to come was a female beggar who approached me with her head down. As she lifted her head I immediately froze as I caught glimpse of her horribly deformed face. She was the victim of an acid attack of which there has been such an epidemic over the last few years, there is now a restriction on how much acid can be purchased at any one time. It was truly horrific to see the sheer devastation it had caused. Most of her facial skin had disintegrated and her face, although completely ruined, was left in a permanent state of distress due to the toxic effects of the acid. Her arms had been disfigured to such an extent that she could no way function normally and yet she was in a situation where she was entirely reliant on handouts from people, who were like me, were categorically told not to give anything! It was truly horrendous on every level!

One of the most recurring and rather unfortunate sights during my visit to North India was the number of times I saw men having a waz on the side of a road, in a bush or simply in the street. I don't know if bladder weakness is a serious health issue in North India but I can honestly say that it was so frequent, perhaps every half mile or so, that I almost resorted to lobbing my trusted antibacterial hand gel out of the car window at them!!

Delhi provided the historical insight and with that also masses of chaos! However having a driver and a guide is money well spent here in India because the stress of navigating yourself around places with driving standards that don't feature anywhere near that of a reasonable person should not be a concern. I observed a motorcyclist enjoying a day out, riding along with 6 members of his family on the back! Just another day in paradise!

The day in Delhi was spent visiting a famous Mosque where approximately 85,000 worshippers visit on a daily basis to speak to the man upstairs. Thereafter I was taken to a Hindu Temple which was much more gentile and decorative! It was during this particular visit that I saw the swaztika displayed freely throughout and immediately felt a great deal of concern. Fortunately, it was not for too long as I was reliably informed they are infact a symbol of happiness! I never thought the mark of such a despicable organisation could represent the positive and happy outlook on life adopted by Hindus, many of whom display such symbols on the outside of their houses. 

I also had the pleasure of visiting the famous Sikh Temple in the heart of Delhi. All day long they feed thousands of people who have the misfortune to be homeless or otherwise attend to receive a blessing via a meal. The preparation that goes into the meals which are available 24 hours a day and 7 days a week is phenomenal and entirely reliant on kind souls that simply donate their time. It was an extremely humbling experience and once again demonstrated the generosity and kindness that pulsates throughout the Indian culture. 

What struck me in parts of the city were the desolate conditions people were living in. They were surrounded by mounds of rubbish, filth and generally speaking it appeared to be a very dark existence, yet 50 metres down the road was a small Hindu shrine painted in a beautiful bright fuchsia pink. More time and effort had been given to a space smaller than a telephone box, than streets laden with poverty and desperation. In some respects one can understand why those rely on religion because it must become a crutch for hope and survival.

The following day was spent travelling approximately 3 hours on to Agra, the location of the incredible Taj Mahal. Besides the Taj Mahal and the Agra Fort, not much occupies the area however I did spot a Costa coffee shop. It was one of those hallelujah moments! Sadly there was torrential rain and a spectacular thunderstorm during my visit but this did not dampen my spirits. It was quite simply breathtaking, a perfectly symmetrical monument made entirely of white marble with magnificent detail. It was built in the 16th Century where  it took 20,000 men to carry out the task and 20 years to complete. In my opinion, the finished product is quite simply outstanding and is more than worthy of the title as one of the seven wonders of the world.  

Once again I was on the move, 24 hours later and after a 5 hour car journey I was in Jaipur, the "Pink City". It says a lot about my time here that I no longer consider it strange to see cows simply sitting in the road however I was surprised to see monkeys darting on house rooves, elephants and camels going for an afternoon stroll, pigs with their piglets snorting loudly to avoid being splattered by the auto rickshaws and donkeys just stood around looking gormless as ever! At times it felt as though the local zoo had been burgled! 

Jaipur is well known for its colour and vibrancy and I certainly enjoyed some of the buildings and Temples adorned in pink and terracotta. My guide was very helpful and accommodating in taking me shopping, despite being a bloke. I  was very amused to learn during my tour that whilst the English tourists are well known for buying scarves and jewellery, the Japanese are especially fond of Kama Sutra books. In light of this discovery, Jaipur is no longer known to me as the Pink City but "Fifty shades of Pink".  I called into the City Palace only to find the King of India was out so it was somewhat disappointing not to be offered some regal hospitality but a nosey around was good enough!

As you can tell from the content of this latest blog, there was never a dull moment and I have now returned to the cut and thrust of school life here in Kerala! 

This week is particularly exciting as Thursday marks the 67th year of India's Independence from our wonderful Country.  Rather worryingly for all concerned, I have been asked to deliver a speech to the whole school (in excess of 700!) on this topic! Not one to be controversial but what a challenge this presents especially given the difference in views between my temporary home and my true nationality. The aim being, not to be deported by Thursday afternoon!  

Wish me luck and for those of a religious disposition have a quiet word - this could be a disastrous experience for all!

As always, I send my love and miss you all lots

Luce  (Ci Ci) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx